Dating Apps: Are We Shopping For Chemistry or Content?

Here’s the gist: dating apps in 2025 feel less like finding a partner and more like browsing Jumia during Black Friday — swipe, add to cart, remove from cart, refresh page, repeat. And my angle is simple: we keep saying we’re searching for chemistry, but most of us are actually shopping for content — curated vibes, soft-life signals, and aesthetics that give “upgrade potential.”

It’s not shade. It’s just the truth peeking through the pixels.

But hold on — let’s rewind small.

The First Swipe Is Basically Packaging (Dating Apps Reality)

Let’s be honest: nobody is forming anything again.

The first swipe is not about character; it’s optics. One sharp picture, one harmless smile, one travel photo with a European statue that probably didn’t even ask for you.

Chemistry? Abeg. At this stage, we’re responding to branding.

And I get it — we’ve all done it. That moment when you see someone and think, “Hmm, this one looks like they smell expensive.” Don’t deny it. But deep down, the question remains: Is this chemistry, or just good lighting doing overtime?

Don’t answer yet. Hold that thought.

Conversations Are Now Content Auditions

Why is the first question now “What’s your love language?”

My dear, we haven’t even disagreed about plantain vs dodo.

Dating apps have turned the talking stage into a full-on talent show.

You’re not just chatting — you’re curating.

Your banter is scripted. Your emojis are strategic.

Your replies? Edited like you’re writing Instagram captions for a brand partnership.

If someone drops “lol,” you start wondering, “Is that small laugh or passive-aggressive laugh?”

If they reply late, you start planning your next message like it’s a TED Talk.

Be honest — are we talking like humans, or performing like reality TV contestants hoping not to get evicted?

Tap your screen once if you’ve felt this one.

Nigeria Made It Even More Interesting

Dating apps here? It’s a whole genre of its own.

One minute you meet someone sweet and soft.

Next minute you match with someone whose bio says:

“Don’t message me if you don’t have sense.”

Aunty, relax — let’s start with greetings.

Then there’s the classic “I’m not here for hookup” squad.

Or the Lagos men proudly writing “Sapiosexual,” even though the last book they read was during NYSC camp orientation.

One person told me, “You look like someone I’d enjoy arguing with.”

Oga, abeg, this is not debate competition.

But honestly? The chaos is part of the charm.

This country is stressful enough — dating apps are supposed to reduce pressure, not add salt and Maggi. But somehow, they’ve become another arena where we decode packaging, intentions, and emotional network coverage.

You still dey with me?

Chemistry vs Content: Which One Really Leads the Swipe?

Let me restate my thesis clearly:

We say we want chemistry, but we swipe for content first — the vibe signals, the aesthetics, the curated lifestyle — then we hope chemistry joins us later.

Think am.

You swipe because they look “soft.”

Or because they have one fine dog.

Or because their restaurant pictures give “brunch life ambassador.”

Or because their playlist screams “good taste plus small mystery.”

That’s content.

That’s branding.

That’s curation.

But chemistry?

Chemistry is different.

Chemistry is the stupid smile you do while texting someone who actually laughs with emojis like they mean it.

Chemistry is that voice note that makes you forget fuel price for five minutes.

Chemistry is not optimized — it just sneaks in.

So here’s the bigger question:

Can chemistry survive in a world where content is the first filter?

If that stung you just now, clear your throat.

Maybe We’re All Just Finding Our Way

Let’s be fair — dating apps are not the villain.

They’re tools.

Useful ones.

They connect people who would never meet between Uber rides and supermarket queues.

The real issue is the pressure to treat dating like branding, to curate yourself like a product, to expect love to perform like weekly content.

But connection? Chemistry?

Those things show up when two people finally drop the performance and talk like real humans — with flaws, nerves, humor, and honesty.

Ironically, that’s the only part of dating you can’t swipe for.

So maybe the trick is simple:

Enjoy the content, but leave space for the kind of chemistry that’s messy, human, and unfiltered.

Because honestly… what’s love without small healthy madness?

If you’ve ever been stuck between “This person actually gets me” and “Wow, this profile is giving,” welcome — you’re among friends.

Now tell me — when you swipe, what exactly are you shopping for?

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