How IJGBs Move in December — and How Nigerians Have Learned to Move Smarter
- Sean
- 6 days ago
- 3 min read
December in Nigeria doesn’t announce itself quietly. It arrives with traffic, noise, and return tickets. And right on schedule, the IJGBs land.
You can always tell. Not by passport stamps, but by confidence. By volume. By how quickly someone starts saying, “Back where I stay…” like it’s a flex and not just geography.
This isn’t hate. It’s culture.
Every December, IJGBs come home with energy, accents on light mode, and plans that would bankrupt a small startup. Nigerians, meanwhile, have learned something important over the years: enjoy the vibes, but move wisely.
Over the years, how IJGBs move in December has become less of a mystery and more of a familiar rhythm Nigerians have learned to anticipate.
Because December is short. And IJGB behavior is… predictable.
How IJGBs Move in December — A Pattern Nigerians Now Expect
First Sign: The Accent That Wasn’t There in August
Nobody upgrades an accent faster than an IJGB in arrivals.
One minute it’s “How are you?”
Next minute it’s “Ah-ah, you guys still do it like this?”
Suddenly:
“Fuel” becomes fyool
“Sorry” becomes saw-ree
Every sentence starts with “Honestly…”
It’s not fake. It’s transitional. The accent hasn’t settled yet, so it’s fighting for its life.
“December accents are not lies. They’re jet lag with confidence.”
Locals don’t argue. We nod. We let them finish. We’ve seen this movie before.
By January 10th, the accent will be gone again.
Money Is Spending Like It Has a Return Ticket (Because It Does)
IJGB money doesn’t behave like local money. It’s reckless. Emotional. On vacation.
In the first week:
Everyone is on the bill
Bottles are ordered without checking prices
POS machines are tapped like they’re unlimited
You’ll hear:
“Don’t worry, I’ve got it.”
“I didn’t come home to manage money.”
“It’s December, jare.”
And honestly? Respect.
But Nigerians have learned not to build expectations around IJGB generosity. Because the same person popping champagne on Tuesday will suddenly be “lying low” by Friday.
“December money has stamina. IJGB money has deadlines.”
So locals enjoy the moment, take the drinks, take the memories — but they don’t plan rent around it.
Experience has taught us better.
Overpromised Link-Ups and the Legendary Disappearance
This one is a classic.
An IJGB lands and announces:
“I’m around o. Let’s link.”
“We must see.”
“I’ll call you.”
Everyone is excited. Old friendships resurface. Group chats wake up from the dead.
Then December actually starts.
Weddings overlap.
Traffic humbles everybody.
Energy finishes faster than planned.
By the time you send:
“Hey, are you still around?”
The reply comes two days later:
“Ahhh sorry, December has been mad.”
That’s not wickedness. That’s logistics.
Nigerians now understand this pattern, so we don’t take it personal. If the link-up happens, great. If not, no beef.
“If an IJGB says “we’ll see,” what they mean is “we’ll try.””
And trying is enough.
Sudden Expertise in Nigeria (From Afar)
Another December special: the returning expert.
They’ve been gone two to four years, but suddenly:
They understand Nigeria’s economy
They have ideas to “fix Lagos”
They ask why people don’t “just do it differently”
It’s always well-meaning. And always hilarious.
Because Nigeria isn’t a podcast topic. It’s a daily sport.
Locals don’t argue anymore. We just smile and say:
“True.”
“E make sense.”
“You’re right.”
Then we continue surviving the way we know how.
How Nigerians Have Learned to Move Smarter
The biggest change over the years isn’t the IJGB behavior — it’s how locals respond.
We’ve learned to:
Enjoy IJGB energy without depending on it
Show up without expectations
Laugh instead of explain
Collect gist, not promises
December is better when you don’t overthink it.
You let people land.
You let them spend.
You let them vanish.
You let them leave.
No pressure. No resentment. No emotional invoices.
Because December is not a negotiation. It’s a season.
The Truth Nobody Says Out Loud
IJGBs bring excitement. They bring stories. They bring outside air into familiar spaces. December would be flatter without them.
But Nigerians have learned one golden rule:
“Enjoy IJGBs like fireworks — bright, loud, and temporary.”
If you expect consistency, you’ll be stressed.
If you expect vibes, you’ll have fun.
And by January, when the traffic eases and the accents fade, Lagos exhales again — already waiting for next December, when the cycle restarts like it always does.
Same airport. Same stories.
Smarter locals.
By 10th January... Everywhere go blur